“What came first?” You used to ask me. “The chicken or the egg” Well obviously the chicken I would say, for a mule is unable to reproduce and yet a coyote, dog, and wolf can reproduce because they are still the same species, so reproduction needs to be followed by a continuation… “That’s not what I meant” you interjected “I was simply asking a silly ques-” and out of anger I spat out “Leave me alone then, your very presence is an annoyance!” I didn’t mean it but I thought you were trying to get between me and my work. You knew my work was everything to me. You were just trying to keep us together and I was too busy breaking us apart.
After the accident, I couldn’t focus on my work anymore, you were gone. I thought if I could just finish my work, on Time, I could give us the life I believed we deserved. I didn’t know my time with you was limited. I wept so hard for you, and I wept because I knew there was no one like you on this earth, no one who could handle me the way you did.
I stopped my work for a time. I stopped because what was the point now. Then in my darkest moment, I remembered you said something to me in one of our fights. You said, I couldn’t think creatively, that everything I spoke of was in concrete rules, and that I couldn’t think outside the box. I was so angry then because rules are rules, and you can’t escape the rules of the universe. You can’t skip steps, but who said the steps needed to be in order and it was only in that dark moment I realized that you were right. While I still must follow the rules of the universe, why couldn’t I think outside of the box. If I couldn’t break the rules, what if I just bent them.
We take small steps over a millennium. So was there really a big bang? or is the big bang just a small continuation of something more grand that has existed since the beginning which we refer to as time? A beginning – maybe that is just something we made up because we can’t fathom a continuation that never ends or ever begins, it just continues.
Time…. time is the separation of matter over a period. Time doesn’t cost anything and yet, it’s priceless. It is only priceless because it can’t be bought, but what if… what if I was able to harness time. Would that make time a valuable commodity if I were able to give it to the people or invaluable if I were to keep this technology to myself and harness it to change the past and shape the future into how I want it to be…
I would not be skipping any of the steps but use other people’s time instead. Those who don’t deserve it, those who I could take their future time from them, distort it, and make that time malleable. What if I could use that future time to go back… so that I can bring you back, so that I could bring you back into the future with me.
I don’t know if this experiment will work but I know I’m close, I’ve got all the people I need downstairs and their future time will be what powers my experiment. Children have the longest futures so the average is quite young but what are they if not insects just taking up our time.
The thought of holding your warm hands again, the smile that was full of life, your hair that flowed so seamlessly through the wind, and that body that I could outline with my fingers. I used to think my work meant everything to me, but now I know it means nothing if I can’t have you with me. That’s what keeps me going.
My work is what got between us before but now it is my work that will bring us together. Testing will begin tomorrow, but what is tomorrow if not only the future and the past, or whatever I choose to make it.
RudysBlog.com 