New Intern

Oh gosh, I’m so excited for this opportunity, I’m so ready to prove my stuff. I’m going to show them that no one needs a fancy degree or anything like that to make it in this economy! I’m young, and ready to take this company to the top, even if I’m not the CEO yet, I’ll get there someday! I just need to walk through those doors and in just a couple years, I’ll be at the top, I just know it. Jessica is going to be blast them all away, they will be left wondering why it took them so long to hire me, here I come!

Jessica marches into the building confidently

20 flights of stairs later because the elevators have stopped, she marches into the front door of her new employer.

She sees the receptionist and immediately extends out her hand

“Hello, I’m Jessica, I’m the new-“

The Receptionist drops on her a huge pile of letters “Take this to the mailing room, and then head over to Mr. Richardson’s Office.”

“Yes Ma’am! I will do anything that this c-“

The Receptionist shoos her away “What are you still doing here, hurry up!!”

6 Beers

Larry was opening his 5th beer

Man, time goes by so fast. It feels like yesterday I was turning 25, thinking about what I was going to be when I was 40. All the plane trips I would take, all the records I would break. Man, I miss those good old days. I actually thought I’d be the youngest president in history, I’d suddenly get interested in politics or something and then BOOM, I’d make my way to the oval office because I could connect with the people, because I was just like them. It’s funny how I thought that would happen and I haven’t even voted in the last 10 years.

Larry takes another long swig off his beer and wipes his mouth with the back of his wrist

The only thing good about this weekend is, I don’t have the kids. My ex tried to put them on me, saying that since it was my birthday, they should spend time with their dad. Pfft, I wasn’t going to fall for that; what, so she can have a weekend with her boyfriend Mario. This is MY weekend. I want to just sit here on my couch and watch the game, with a beer.

Larry takes another huge swig off his beer and then belches

Haha that was a good one. Man, this game isn’t great, I don’t even care if my team wins to be honest. I don’t even really care about anything right now, I just want…. I don’t even know what I want. Ugh why is my mind so out of it right now. I’ve only had like 5, what 6 beers? Man, I don’t even know how many beers I got in me to be honest.

Larry finishes off his beer and tosses it towards the kitchen trash bin

Stupid can, can’t even go into the trash. Get in the trash you stupid can! Man, this game is still on. Ugh it’s so boring in here, I feel like going for a drive, plus I need to get me some more beer since I just finished the last one.

Larry gets up off the couch and heads towards the front door

He gets to the front door twisting the doorknob

He stops

Wait a minute, I still got another beer in the fridge!

The Wise Woman

I covered myself so that no one in town would question the spots that were appearing around my body. My efforts were unneeded, if I had walked naked no one in the village would have really care, after all I was almost a slave.

It was a struggle to walk, much less make the journey to see the Wise Woman. She was a distributor of herbs, spices and the village’s only source of medicine. There were rumors that she would sacrifice live animals and eat children to keep her youthful figure, some say she’s been alive for over three centuries. I had never met her before, I was always afraid because of what people said she could do. Some villagers say she could make animals speak, she could keep loved ones from dying and some say she can send demons to your bed, and casts curses on those that have crossed her with her methods. The people of the village respected her because there were countless stories of her saving so many loved ones, but no one was dumb enough not to fear her. She delved into practices that many of those in the village believed to be of a darker nature.

No one crossed the Wise Woman, the land owners and Elders stayed clear of her, but would sought her counsel during droughts and strong storms. She was said to be able to control the weather if she willed it. No one said a bad word to her, many were to afraid to even think of her, terrified that the Wise Woman could hear their thoughts. The only person that ever had the guts to call her a “witch” was Leison, he was a lot larger than I was and a few years older; a beast of a man. He said he wasn’t scared of some old stupid witch who would be better off dead, once when he got drunk at the tavern. The next morning, Leison was nowhere to be found. His clothes still in his home, food and money there too. Almost as if he had just left the village with only the clothes on his back.

I didn’t want to see he, I was afraid, but I also knew that the rumors the people kept whispering about the Wise Woman were probably false. The people in the village love to make up stories and rumors; it keeps them entertained to talk about other people lives and secrets.

I finally got to her parcel of land, it looked normal, no dead animals or weird symbols, just plants and trees that looked well taken care of. I walked right up to her front door and knocked, feeling a bit more comfortable now. I had convinced myself that there was probably nothing to be afraid of, that she was probably just an old lady…. that was until the door opened. It creaked open, loud and slow, then I heard a shrill voice in the distance of the dark and empty home, “Come in.”

Auto Draft

Dear Rudy,

I’m doing the whole cheesy Valentine’s Day note because I’m way to shy and bad with words to actually say this stuff to your face haha. I want to start out by saying how happy I am that you are in my life. Every day I look forward to coming back to the dorm and spending time with you, even if we just lay on my bed or go on a thousand trips to Kin’s Market because I didn’t read the chicken pot pie package. Thanks for being patient with me, helping me work the printer, making me laugh, making me question the world, and giving me butterflies when we kiss 🙂 I love that you can rock a pink shirt. But if you wear that shirt while riding your scooter and walking your little fluffy white “dog” (that think is NOT a real dog), I just don’t think I could take it. Haha :p Your motivation and determination are so inspiring. I love that you have goals and want to change the world. I love that we accept each other, even though we are pretty much polar opposites. We are both kind of assholes, so at least we have that in common haha. I also love how natural it is to be with you. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you and am happy to be your girlfriend 🙂

Love,

Erin (a.k.a, old man eyebrows, a.k.a. fatass, a.k.a. lazyass, a.k.a. dumbass) 🙂 hehe

P.S. If I wasn’t a broke ass I would have gone out and bought some sexy new lingerie to wear for you. Sadly, I have no money, so you get this cheesy homemade card instead 🙂

Context Of Image: Erin is really bad at drawing hearts and always makes them look like upside-down butts. I don’t know why, she just does, hence, the “I fucked up :(“

Letters From Erin p.1

Dear Rudy,

     Well I am about to leave but I guess I felt like I had a few more things to say. Get ready for some serious cheesiness 🙂

You are my best friend. And you are super sexy, so that’s a plus. Even your farts are hot. I love laughing with you and spending all day in bed talking. Time just seems to go away when I’m with you. That’s why this month away from you is going to drag by; I am going to be aware of every moment I can’t be kissing you. I know we piss each other off, but you are the only guy who is worth arguing with. Anyways, I love you. And even if you have sex with a bazillion girls, remember none of them have a mustache like mine :p

Love,

Erin

P.S. I would love to hear your voice over break, so if you feel like calling that would be cool 🙂

P.P.S. Writing this note is going to make me super late to the airport… Jerk.

(Context For Cow Drawings: I really like cows and Erin knew they’re my favorite animal)

Credit To Erin McMorries

Nothing

I’d always been so afraid of living a life that didn’t matter; I would grow old and no one would remember me. It was my biggest fear, to just be forgotten like a cheap pop song, here for a summer and gone so quickly. I used to sometimes stay up at night just thinking about ways that I could change the world somehow; impacting it with a grand gesture to ensure everyone remembered me after I was gone.

That’s why I did it, I wanted to feel like I was part of something, I wanted to be remembered. The push back of the shotgun felt exhilarating, like I was finally doing something that was affecting people, even if they fell to the floor afterwards. Shell after shell, I was walking towards them as they tried to escape the gym, all shoving each other trying to get to the exit. It was no use, I had already chained the doors together from the outside, six minutes earlier. Puddles of blood everywhere, more forming with each squeeze of the trigger. More bodies fell, one after the other, until all their bodies were on the ground.

For some reason, I always imagined this same scenario but there would be an orchestra playing in the background. There wasn’t though, the screaming eventually stopped and all I could hear was my heavy breathing with my heart feeling like it was going to burst out of my chest. I immediately wanted to run for the exit, “maybe I can still escape before they get here.” Yet, deep down I knew I wouldn’t make it off the school grounds. I knew the only two options I had given myself and I chose the latter.

The mouth of the gun felt so strange in my mouth. I thought about how strange it felt for a good while, the fact that it took up so much space in my mouth. I know why I took so much time thinking about it though; it’s because I don’t want to think about what comes next. I’d rather go through a thousand years of pain, than find out that after I pull the trigger, it just ends, that all there is, is nothing. I really hope I make it on the TV, that would be cool, I’ve never been on the TV before.

New Neighbor

The baseball flies across the fence. A loud crash of glass

Christian and Rodney ran to the fence.

“Your mom is going to kill you.” Rodney says with a huge smile.

“Shut up, don’t say that, it’s your fault for throwing the ball so hard.” replies Christian.

They both jump up onto the boards of the privacy fence and peak their heads over to see where the ball went.

“Oh no, it’s the new neighbor’s house. Now, your mom really is going to kill you.” laughed Rodney.

“Oh God, why me?” whispered Christian.

Rodney punches Christian’s right arm, “that’s what happens when you got a mad swing.” he laughed again, “You’re going to the majors someday, I can tell” with a big smirk on his face.

Christian let out a small smirk, but then got serious. “Why haven’t they come out of the house yet, to check on the window?”

“I don’t know, maybe they aren’t home. Their driveway looks empty.” said Rodney.

“What your neighbor doesn’t know won’t hurt them. Plus, nobody saw where it came from” said Christian with a big smile on his face, “The ball could be anyone’s, everyone plays baseball around here.”

“Wait, isn’t that the ball with your name on it?” replied Rodney.

Christian’s face went from relieved to complete dread. His eyes grew large. Rodney started laughing like a lunatic falling off the fence and rolling on the grass to where he could barely breathe.

“This is all your fault, why couldn’t you just throw me a softball, ugh, I’m dead meat!” cried Christian clenching his hands on top of the wooden fence.

Rodney finally caught his breath and climbed back onto the fence, “Look don’t worry about it, let’s jump the fence, go in real quick, grab the ball and then nobody will ever know it was us.”

They both remained silent, looking at each other. Finally, Christian nodded his head, “Okay.”

They quickly jumped over the fence, and were into the new neighbor’s yard in no time. They ran up to the broken window and placed their backs against the exterior walls on opposite sides of the window, pretending they were in an action movie.

“Do you see the ball?” Christian looked, but couldn’t see well inside since the room wasn’t lit, the window was tinted black and the only light going into the room was from the daylight through the opening of the broken glass.

“I think so, it’s inside the house but I think I can reach it through the hole in the window.” replied Rodney, “Maybe I can grab it.”

They both look around the backyard to make sure no one was spying on them. Then Rodney tried to reach inside, “ It’s a little too far, like a few inches.”

“Here, let me try, I’m taller,” said Christian.

“Fine,” Rodney replied in defeat, “It’s not my fault my growth spurt hasn’t come yet.”

Christian was too focused on the ball; he needed to get it out of that house. He was reaching for it and was a couple inches away from it. He kept reaching and reaching but it was no use, it was too far yet he persisted, pressing the side of his face against the window.

Then he could feel two cold hands placing the baseball into his. It started Christian and he yanked his arm out of the house.

“Cool you got it, now let’s get out of here before someone sees us.” Said Rodney already running back towards the fence.

Christian was still a little flustered but followed Rodney, with the baseball with his name on it.

Towards the fence Christian ran, but before he climbed over it, he stopped to look back towards the window. He couldn’t see anything through the hole in the glass, yet had this eerie feeling like something was staring back at him.

Breaking Heart

She was putting her hunter green sweater back on, fixing her funny looking blue hat with the puffy black ball on top, when she reaches for the door. She extends her left arm grabbing the door knob, clenching it but before she can twist it open, she turns her head towards me; not completely, almost like she doesn’t want me to see her entire face. I can barely see the side of her face but I see a black mascara line on her cheek, a remnant of the tear that was rolling down her face, not a minute ago.

“You know, part of me always knew we weren’t right for each other. We fight way too much,” she paused. cracking a small broken smile, “not even my parents fought this much when they were getting divorced.”

I wanted to tell her I was sorry, to take back everything that had just been said. I wanted to put back together all the pieces of us that were whole for just a few more moments. We were something just a few minutes earlier, we had been in each others’ lives for four years doing everything together, and now, and now we’re just a broken piece of NOTHING.

“I’m sorr-” I uttered.

“No, don’t. I know you just want to fix this. You always just want to fix everything, but honestly, it’s better if you just don’t.” she continued, “ I honestly, thought this would work eventually and that’s why I stayed. I thought this could somehow just work, like in the movies.”

She turned her head with her face facing straight at me, tears began to roll down her cheeks again. Her eyes were so blue. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them that blue before. She was so beautiful, just the sight of her in that moment made me lose my breath. I couldn’t breathe one word, like I was in a trance, just taking her in.

She picked up her right hand to wipe her face, still clenching the door knob with her left. She finally twisted it, opening the door, “I guess, I’ll see you around…” Out the door she was, already closing the door behind her.

A small whisper managed to escape my lips, “Wait…” I said.

I saw the door stay ajar for a second longer, like she was still there, holding it open. Then it finally closed and just like that, I felt like a chapter in my life had just finished.

Foggy

I can’t stay focused, my mind feels so foggy with all the medication the nurses put in me. Time moves by so fast, weeks feel like days, days feel like hours. Here it comes again, one of the nurses gets me with the thick needle, god I hate those needles… the sharp pain is followed by the pressure of the solution in the syringe. However, this time it’s different, I feel myself drifting further; the fog is there but now I can feel myself going into something deeper. They’re putting me to sleep again! It doesn’t make sense, the clock above my door reads that it’s only 3pm, they don’t usually put me to sleep until 8pm and not a minute sooner, something must be wrong. The darkness finally takes me and I drift to sleep.

I’m back at work, with my lab equipment and formulas on the board. I can see someone bringing me a report and discussing the details on how we might be able to achieve a successful trial. The conversation is engaging but I know the truth, I have to get the funding for our project, if we are to ever have a hope of attempting a successful trial. Our work is groundbreaking which has the potential to save so many lives and would revolutionize the world as we know it.

I feel so cold and light-headed, the soreness of my neck keeps me from turning my neck too much and my whole body aches. I hear muffled footsteps. I also can’t see very well, my vision is blurry and I can barely make out the tile floors. Why am I seeing the floor tiles go by? I finally come to, I’m being carried!

Okay focus, look around and try to figure out where I am. I try to look for a window, maybe it could be a clue to my location. I manage to get a glimpse through one of the windows to my right side but I just see darkness outside. It’s the dead of night and there’s tree branches waving outside. Where am I? Something has gone wrong because even though I can feel them trying to remain calm and collected, they’re moving with a sense of urgency; they must be in a hurry to get me to their destination.

They suddenly stop, the biggest one of the four guards places me on the ground in a sitting position, with my back against the wall. The four guards are dressed entirely in black and have stocky builds. The nurse that put me to sleep is also with them. The guard handcuffs my right wrist to the steel pipe extruding from the brick wall and then groups back with the others but still nearest to me.

My hearing is getting better. Why are the alarms going off? They are so loud.

Bang

The double doors that dissect the long hallway in front of us blast off. A thick smoke begins to encapsulates the room very quickly. I can barely make out a figure at the beginning of the hallway. The guards pull out handguns and start aiming past the smoke at the shadowy figure with their backs towards me. They are shouting at the figure but the figure keeps marching towards us. They start firing their weapons…